289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Lucien had never prayed before, never imagined that there might be a deity listening who would be interested in what he had to say, so his supplication skills were a tad rusty.But now Lucien prayed.Please don’t take her from me just as I’ve found her. If you do, I’ll come for your ass.Any gods listening would do well to heed him. Lucien never made a promise that he couldn’t keep.

Let me put it more artistically, with greater sophistication:They left us in the toilet. In the deepest pile of shit. And we're coated in the crappy residue of their desicions. But that does not mean we are the one who pooped, Moritz. And neither are we the poop.Never think that. We're not the poop.

With all due respect to Women's Empowerment, in this pandemic there has been a little tug of war between my daughter and me to get the wifi connection for our classes.

I am not trying to be funny, it is just that you're a joke.

I am really, truly dead serious when I am just joking. But only if you're a joke would you mind my poking.

Evolution could be true. Apes lick their nuts. Religious nuts do too.

If I were not a Punjabi, I'd be a candy or jalebi.

Like your fancied god up there, my pal up nowhere, Mr. NOT, says if you do not prostrate and accept me as your latest and newest messiah, he will so kick your butt that you will neither be in hell nor in heaven but nowhere, like your fancied pal up there.

I concede your god is the only god, except for one - my pal up there nowhere, Mr. NOT.