528 Quotes About Hilarious

Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

Julius applied the brakes just in time. The corpse fell forward and hit its forehead on an iron handle.‘That would have been really painful if the circumstances had been a little different,’ said Allan. ‘There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead,’ said Julius.

Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

She was going to go to her room,munch on chocolate,then collapse into bed.And if her upstairs neighbors decided to talk about who the daddy was or cry again about how much David was loved,she'd go up there and give them somthing to really bloody cry about.

I am a great woman.

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.

Two passing jetliners reported to controllers they’d seen a man with a gun seated on a deck chair at eleven thousand feet…