528 Quotes About Hilarious

Me: Meet my boyfriend, Ben!Parents: *showering us with condoms* HELLO! BOYFRIEND BEN!!!Ben: *launches self into the sun*.

It’s so … normal.”“I don’t eat small children.”“Shocking.

Listen you..you.."he sputtered."You what ? You've already used hellion,draft girl and missy' .i can think of several more degradation,but then again im not the one trying so hard to be intimidating.""How about you,maddending,foolish,moronic little chit ?""Much better !" she applauded.

Why are you staring at my boobs? My face is up here,” Trudy exclaims.Jack, the hotel employees, and I jump back like we’ve been electrocuted while the seniors don’t skip a beat. No. She. Didn’t. These geriatric devils are so bad.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

Es clar que passa dintre el teu cap, Harry; però això no vol dir que no sigui real!

Roses are wilting, Violets are dead,The sugar bowl is empty,and so is your head.

Who the fuck is Old Jolene?

They can’t denied who I am.