528 Quotes About Hilarious

I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants.

Don’ttempt the scorpion if you don’t want toget stung.

The woman at the next table is making eyes at you,” Lanie said, whispering conspiratorially.“Really? What does she make them out of? Cloth?

Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it.

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.

What are you doing sister? / Killing swine.

It me birthday and nobody came...Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.

(Seth) “So,” he said, looking me up and down, “you’re what the fuss was all about. I can’t say I’m impressed.” He sneered at me. “Still riding bulls, cowboy?”(Weber) “Nope.” I smirked at him. “I only ride his cock now.

Roz to Amelia (the house ghost): How considerate of you, after trying to kill me, to see that I don't catch a cold.