528 Quotes About Hilarious

A " Controlled Burn ", they called it, although whit it really amounted to was grown men having fun.

It’s a real pity,” Beau finally muttered, shaking his head and looking at each of us in turn. His eyes shone with disappointment. “I know you’re all too preoccupied with your pining to notice, but I just caught my reflection in that last puddle—and damn, I look good.

I told you this was a bad idea!" Scarlett gasps."And I told you I don't have bad ideas!" I shout, kicking through a doorway."Oh no?" she asks, cracking off a shot at our pursuers."No!" I drag her inside. "Just less amazing ones!

God is a woman, by the way. Likely a transgender woman of color, according to contemporary biblical scholars (i.e., me, my friends, and Ariana Grande).

Me: Mom, I’m 24.Mom: You’re still my babyMe: Jasmine is your baby.Mom: Jasmine came out an old woman.

... but then I was so utterly entranced by our discussion of Einstein's relative theory -""Relativity," Ling corrected quickly under her breath."- that I completely lost track of the time."Funny," Ling whispered."What?" Henry said."Lost track of..." Ling shook her head, "never mind.

RubyMars: Make sure to eat plenty of fiber so you can finally poopAhall80: BYE RUBY

Looking back on that Halloween, I missed the mark. If I’d known then what I know now, the solution would’ve been obvious: I should’ve just gone as Grandmother Willow. She doesn’t have a gender. She’s a tree.

Instead of playing it cool, my body decided the best thing to do at that moment was to inhale some toothpaste and spend the next three minutes choking on it. Thankfully, they were all three in the shower, so they didn’t realize that their sudden nudity had caused the biggest queen on campus to have a three-minute coughing fit. I still haven’t recovered from that moment. I don’t think I ever will. Sorry, Kyrie.