528 Quotes About Hilarious

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. THEY'RE ON TV!

My life is an open book. With illustrations.

He's a hilarious individual with one of the most devastatingly offbeat views of life one could ever encounter.

Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. OK? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack.

I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

No ideas and the ability to express them - that's a journalist.

If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.

I am truly obsessed with Lena Dunham. I find everything about her unique and refreshing. She is a brilliant, hilarious and honest writer who is not afraid to make her audience uncomfortable.

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.