394 Quotes About Humor-inspirational

Back off, Jack-I got four brothers protecting my ass,' and I just rode on by him

I feel about John ['s gospel] like I feel about my wife; I love her very much, but I wouldn't claim to understand her.(Following Jesus, p. 27.)

Bleeding is for those who suck enough to get injured.

You don't have to go away to know where your home is, everyone knows where their home is. And if you don't, you've got problems.

Parker fixated on the envelope's precise penmanship as she lifted it. Her grandmother rarely took the time to write her own name in the return address, let alone give it the aesthetic attention that this one so seemed to demand. Once, when Parker questioned her on this, her grandmother casually asserted that she "didn't quite believe in envelopes" as if this were a debatable concept like Socialism or wearing white after Labor Day.

figthting for peace is like fucking for verginity

If time takes orders from man, it would have been reviewed to yesterday to correct the things that are effective.

Words Words Words!!It's not always what you say but how you say it

The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget but a pessimist forgets to laugh.