394 Quotes About Humor-inspirational

Things Just Happen, What The Hell

If you don't want to cook, you should try throwing a dish.

(On her son) I've met writer's block. He is short, diapered and keeps unplugging my laptop. Good news: he can be conquered with a bottle and a nap.

When people tell me to go fly a kite I tell them to go dig a ditch. They say "why dig a ditch"? I say because I want to be closer to Heaven than you.

I'll take a Cheezy Burger and a shake full of smiles to go.

I stressed out trying to figure out what I could say. I ate licorice. I stressed some more. I ate Dots. I stressed out even more-and wiped out a bag of Swedish Fish. And then I wrote.

No one has ever seen a Brink's truck delivering money into a cemetery...so enjoy your life, while you still can!

- Виждате ли този човек е една многостранна личност - скитник джентълмен поет мечтател самотник винаги с надежда за любов и приключения. Той би искал да ви убеди че е учен музикант херцог играч на поло. Но в същото време не би се посвенил да събира угарки или да открадне захарното петле на някое бебе. И естествено ако това се изисква от обстоятелствата би ритнал и една уважаема дама по задника - но само когато е крайно разгневен! (Чарли Чаплин Моята автобиография)

Actually it's this easy to explain: When your time's up...poof...your time is up!