177 Quotes About Humor-relationships

It felt like I had a thousand packs of Strawberry Pop Rocks simultaneously detonating in my chest, and I dilated at least eight centimeters!

Mr. Beecher used to say that the first thing for a man to do, if he would succeed in life, was to be careful to "choose a good father and mother to be born of.

Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine with that Oompa-Loompa!

He was the yin to my yang, the sparkly jumpsuit to my Elvis.

There is nothing worse than the day you find out that your parents are nasty, horny mortals like everyone else. It just kills your childhood.

You go in, I go in.""Listen---"He took her face in his hands."You go, I go. That's non-negotiable. If we're to get blasted to hell or poisoned into lunatics, we do it together.""Crap, Crap. You have to look less rich and gorgeous."God help him, she made him grin. "I'll do what I can.

And what the fuck were you doing parading around in those jeans and that shirt last—”“Parading?”“You are not allowed to put on your fuck-me clothes if I ain’t there to do the fucking!

So thirsty," Jack groaned."So worried,"said the frog. I hope we don't starve to death.""Yes,"said Jill, "not starving to death would be nice.""So would not thirsting to death," said Jack"Thirsting isn't even a word," said Jill"It isn't?""No.""Then what's the word?""I dont know. You just can't.""Oh."This is, of course, the kind of inane conversation that occurs when people are slowly losing their minds.

Sounds to me like you're talkin' about the wrong things. Why don't you talk about other things? Like you could make a list of things you won't fight over and then you only talk about those things.