24,501 Quotes About Humor

Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it.

Find out what people want to do, then tell them to do it. They'll think you're a genius.

Why do you tell me you love me only when you're drunk or dreaming? she asked. I have awful timing, said Simon

I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory.

I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are not my people. Now, book-club people—

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

NOw he's back from the dead and he's come looking for her. Maybe he wants to get back together." (Isabelle)"I doubt he sent a horde of demons to her house because he wants to 'get back together.'" (Alec)"It wouldn't be my move. First the candy, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order." (Jace)

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.