5,226 Quotes About Humour

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.

What ho!" I said."What ho!" said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Do you have any old copies of Dickens? Bookseller: We've got a copy of David Copperfield from 1850 for $150. Customer: Why is it so expensive if it's that old?