5,226 Quotes About Humour

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes.

Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.

She looked utterly betrayed, as betrayed as the most betrayed person in Shakespeare.

It’s like George always says: being in a rock ʼn’ roll band is very sexy, even when you’re only the keyboard player and your idea of the perfect Saturday night actually amounts to a bubble bath, a Richard Curtis boxset and a seafood linguine.

Not everyone who talks less or keeps quiet whenever they are with or around you does that because they find you interesting or knowledgeable; some people do that because they find you boring or ignorant.

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.

When life throws shit at you, grow great, big, fuck off roses.

Right then, in a nutshell: this one hasn't a single bone of obedient-little-wife material in her heavenly body.''Hasn't she? Then what kind of bone does your expertise detect?'Fermin came closer, adopting a confidential tone. 'The passionate kind,' he said, raising his eyebrows with an air of mystery. 'And you can be sure I mean that as a compliment.

He quite liked dentists’ waiting rooms. Waiting for dentists was good. Waiting for them was so much better than having them stick metal spikes in your mouth.