5,226 Quotes About Humour

They go out, they drink a lot of beer and they eat dead pigs, and then they go home and have sex with strangers afterwards.

Sometimes I think about dying. And then I wonder about going to hell. And then I think that if and when I go there, the place will be completely organized and run by lost souls, with a council and a works committee and an ethics panel, and I'll feel right at home.

The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him.

Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!""I should not dream of intruding upon you there," replied Mr Brundy, bowing deeply from the waist.

So," the Dalai Lama finally said, slapping the Archbishop on the wrist playfully. "I prefer to go to hell than to heaven. I can solve more problems in hell. I can help more people there.

You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.

Hate hell.

Bookstores are wondrous places, are they not?

My doctor told me that as long as I can walk up a flight of stairs then I can keep having sex. That's why I chose an upstairs appartment.