5,226 Quotes About Humour

Some people would not have remained with their partners, if the unfortunate things that have happened to them had happened to their partners, or if the fortunate things that have happened to their partners had happened to them.

I was not dressed crazily - I was dressed as a horse. And for a very logical and sane reason.

Fifteen minutes later, Justin looks at his pint of blood with pride. He doesn't want it to go to some stranger, he almost wants to bring it to the hospital himself, survey the wards and present it to someone special, for it's the first thing to come straight from his heart in a very long time.

When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.

I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor!

Pienso en él sin camisa. A la luz de la lámpara. A la luz de las velas del árbol de Navidad. A la luz del gato ardiendo. Abandono el pensamiento. Vuelve a mí. Hay pensamientos que están impregnados de cola de pegar

And when the firemen turned off the hose and were standing in the wet, smoky room, Jim's Aunt, Miss Prothero, came downstairs and peered in at them. Jim and I waited, very quietly, to hear what she would say to them. She said the right thing, always. She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read?

He knows the only way to fake emotion'sto fake (but not too well) lack of emotionbut not to get too tied up in its absence(or, if you like, the pretence of its absence).

Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.