5,226 Quotes About Humour

I am heartily glad that the trees and plants are still interested in copulatory activities; I only wishthey would be so good as to keep their sperm away from my face. Do not pretend that pollen isanything else; it transfers haploid male genetic material and sullies the bedclothes unmercifully.

By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.

Love is relentless, and so am I ;)

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

Dogs aren’t just for Christmas; you could probably get hold of a cat for a few weeks too.

Buddhists are fundamentally just lazy people who've mastered avoidance—avoid Buddhists

Are you beating the meat? Flogging the bishop? Spanking the monkey?

Like a herald announcing the arrival of royalty, she let out what is easily the longest, loudest, and most musical fart I have ever heard.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you - especially if you're dining alone.