5,226 Quotes About Humour

My mom said the moon landing was faked,” said Eddie. “But she also said she saw Jackie Kennedy, Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis and Bigfoot at the IHOP out by the interstate. Elvis picked up the check.

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.

So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.

Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't teach, police grammar on the Internet.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.

Are you done briefing the company yet?""We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet.""Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company "Tagon's Toughs.""Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become your captain thirty-two hours from now, as of seven weeks ago.Now, quick. Let's go save the galaxy while they're confused.

It (the room) used to be a lot smaller, but an accidental incursion by rhinos had changed that.

I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!!