5,226 Quotes About Humour

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Life is mean! Don't lose your humour jacket. You'll really need it.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.

Money can't buy happiness, BUT it can buy books (which is basically the same thing).