5,226 Quotes About Humour

Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction.

As soon as I entered the room, he cried out, without any other greeting: "You've gotten very fat!" It was his way of disarming, I thought, any horror I might have felt at his own pudding-like rotundity, which had trebled since I had seen him last.

Technically, you cannot really own a book you bought; you can only own the sheets of paper your copy is printed on; unless, of course, you are the book’s publisher.

You're kidding," Shane said. "Do you think I want to visit Crazy McTeeth in his lair of insanity?""No," Claire said, "but I'm pretty sure you won't like it if I go alone when I just kind of promised to be with you. So...?""Right. I've been missing Nutty McFang anyway.""Stop making up names for him.""What about Count Crackula?""Just stop.

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?" he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control."For one thing, Djetth, he wasn't trying to kill me!"("Marsh", heroine of Insufficient Mating Material)

You can only fight one man at a time with a sword, but, with a pen, you can compose a lecture to bore legions of enemy troops to death.

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.

Rose took my nose, I suppose,” he repeated; the bubble of phlegm in his throat made a disgusting crackle. “And it really blows.