5,226 Quotes About Humour

We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.

She was heavier than he expected - women always are.

...some men say get them crying on your shoulder and you have the sheets half-unfurled already. Other fellows say get them laughing. I say get them drunk. I ordered up more Riesling...

It commenced raining one day and did not stop for two months. We went through ever different kind of rain they is, cep'n maybe sleet or hail. It was little tiny stinging rain sometimes, an big ole fat rain at others. It came sidewise an straight down an sometimes even seem to stand up from the ground. Nevertheless, we was expected to do our shit, which was mainly walking upland down the hills an stuff looking for gooks.

[a]nd the Pig Man came in from Waitomo and swore that if Louisa didn't marry him he'd damn well vote Labour at the next election."And I don't care if the country does go to rack and ruin," he said.

Now to me, Edith looks like something that would eat her young.

Oh shit did you just dis the feminine genderI'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blenderYou think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhymeBut I got flow like Ghostbusters got slimeObjectify women and it's fuckin' onYou'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon.

Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.

Your pussy is a fruit that I wanna juiceYour pussy is a fruit that I wanna juice, yeahPut the molly in the booty, girl, we turning up tonightCos that pussy is a smoothie it know how to do me right.