5,226 Quotes About Humour

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

These days, you could stage a three-point orgy in the garden and nobody would bat an eye...

We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.

Why, there's the air, the sky, the morning, the evening, moonlight, my friends, women, the beautiful architecture of Paris to study, three big books to write and all sorts of other things. Anaxagoras used to say that he was in the world in order to admire the sun. And then I have the good fortune to be able to spend my days from morning to night in the company of a man of genius - myself - and it's very pleasant.

If you don’t like your appearance, then change it, but don’t keep doing nothing and then complaining about it, because it’s boring.'- Luis Martinez to Carly Conner

It doesn't matter if it's the real world or fictional," I insisted. "Crushes are the best part of liking someone, and they are completely safe. You get all the benefits of fantasising about someone, but none of the he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not drama. It's all the good parts with none of the parts that make you lie awake at night all angsty.

It's just...how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find.

Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.