374 Quotes About Humourous

An intelligent man will use a book to settle an argument. Preferably a hardback with a thick spine, flat across the bridge of the nose.

... and Vice President Tony Su. Su's presence was unusual. The president had reverted to the formerly common practice of giving the Vice President absolutely nothing of any importance to do. Su spent most of his time vising elementary schools and working on his putting.

If you like to swallow him, for his sister's sake, you may; but I've no sauce that will make him go down.

One day we found them. They must of been holding a gook convention or something, cause it seem like the same sort of deal as when you step on a anthill and they all come swarming around.

Your lordship’s servant has a sensible, natural, pretty idea of military matters; somewhat irregular, though, and smells a little too much of selling the bear’s skin before he has hunted him.

It sounded somewhat doom-laden, so I felt obliged to look it up more thoroughly, in case I should eat some chocolate rather quickly.

Only the great warriors fall down from their horses; one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.

I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.

Damn it!” I rubbed my eyes. My head hurt from staring at the laptop screen the whole day. “I’ve got to put this down for a while.”“Yes, put it down. Social networking is for the anti-social, yes?,” Eat’em shut my laptop and stood on it as I slid it onto the cluttered coffee table. “Keystrokes are a sign of the solipsistic lonely sort. Self-imposed solitary confinement, yes! You can’t rip all them ones and twos from the screen, Jacob.