437 Quotes About Jokes

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

Why, if you only knew the secrets to which I'm privy!""My dear Lifeblesser, please trust me when I say the I have no desire to know any secrets which involve you and a privy.

You can tell you're getting old when the heat blast from your birthday cake candles feels hotter than the surface of the sun.

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

It may be that I am no longer able to joke--that it is no longer a satisfactory defense mechanism. Some people are funny, and some are not. I used to be funny, and perhaps I’m not any more. There may have been so many shocks and disappointments that the defense of humor no longer works. It may be that I have become rather grumpy because I’ve seen so many things that have offended me that I cannot deal with in terms of laughter.

It’s always such a joke, these boys with their beards. A male should wait until he has at least done something before growing one.

We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.

Some people do not really hate aging; they merely love the colour black.