123 Quotes About Masturbation

He thrust his pelvis against his mattress, humping his pillow and thinking of no particular woman or memory, but merely the idea of being touched by someone—anyone. It was a sort of sorrowful pornography, masturbating to the day he would never need to masturbate. He closed his eyes and released on his sheets two fluids of desperation: semen of a lonely man and tears of a lonelier one.

Reality is in the hand of the masturbator.

My humor is so dirty I could masturbate to it.

Everything you do wih thoughts in mind is masturbation, the real thing is somewhere else.

Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.

Your imagination and some masturbation is a much better alternative to finding out what kind of person a bit of casual sex transforms you into.

When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.

One of the biggest problems that most men have with life is that the vagina comes with the woman.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.