54 Quotes About Philosophical-humor

I'd have kicked your ass as too your head were both not full of shit, butthead.

Like your fancied god up there, my pal up nowhere, Mr. NOT, says if you do not prostrate and accept me as your latest and newest messiah, he will so kick your butt that you will neither be in hell nor in heaven but nowhere, like your fancied pal up there.

People who say they do not regret anything in their life, for the next birth too should get the very same wife.

All nuts sit on their butts - do you?

I'm a serious sort of fella. But don't tell me your pal up in the sky exists, and mine does not. Then, my middle finger gets offended! For, my buddy up there nowhere, Mr. NOT, too insists without proof, that he is. Same as your god. Is Mr. NOT nuts? If he is, are you not?

If you can count your friends - those who will miss you, perhaps shed a tear for you after you conk off - you're one lucky fellow. I guess I am lucky. Then again, who can tell? May be I will have to cut off a finger! For, who knows, in the passage of time, who turns yellow.

Those who advocate killing people of another religion or faith by labeling the latter as infidels are dick-heads; that too a bit too little.

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.