334 Quotes About Romantic-comedy

She’d played her part as the ugly duckling that never became a swan, but remained the goose inside a nightmarish cliché fairy-tale movie...

Why did fate decide to over-season her soul’s stockpot with a dash of tear-spilling salt, then give her life a stir to watch the pyramid of pain crumble?

How can she take my 'no' seriously when my dick is saying, 'yes?

You can't be unlovable, Han, because I f**king love you.

A truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.

In all my twenty-seven years of life, I have never before noticed the astonishing similarities between my own head and a tenpin bowling ball. ... Ah, the colours. I should probably mention that the Luxurious Caramel, Sticky Treacle and Ash Blonde I asked for have somehow turned out to be Felt Tip Orange, Poo Brown and Ash . . . as in cigarette.

I am going to ask her why, when I requested face-slimming, feathery layers à la Jennifer Aniston, she adorned me with a Lego head helmet à la no one since the 1960s.

I wanted Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, not Bridal Munchkin Drag Queen in A Gypsy Wedding Sequin Frenzy.

I look exactly like a toilet-roll-holder doll. A toilet-roll-holder doll with orange hair and a very round face.