1,029 Quotes About Wife

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

The only tough thing is admitting to my wife how much a certain article of clothing costs.

Assure a man that he has a soul and then frighten him with old wives' tales as to what is to become of him afterward, and you have hooked a fish, a mental slave.

My wife and I are both Libertarian; she was a Democrat and I was a Republican, and we both met in the middle somewhere.

I don't want to argue with my wife about her car - or my driving.