1,018 Quotes About Witty

He could be so charming and irreverent and witty, and then-bam!-a switch flipped and he reverted right back to the cocky asshole everyone reported him to be.

My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend torepeat them.

What are you - Secret Service?''If I were, I wouldn't admit it.''And you're not admitting it, I notice.

Pearls are congealed oyster spit.

'Venti caramel macchiato, please,' he said. 'Hold the snobbery.' The barista laughed and hit buttons on his register. 'You sure? We're having a sale on social mobility. The longer your coffee order takes to place, the more you have to pay.' 'Perfect. Reverse consumerism.'

Remember what you won't get if you don't mind," her grandfather remarked.

They were even talking about buying a bodyguard, can you believe it? I mean, what on earth would I look like, turning up with a bodyguard? Actually, I'd look pretty cool and mysterious, wouldn't I? That might have been quite a good idea.

Never stick your tongue out at someone you can't lick.

If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic!