1,018 Quotes About Witty

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.