[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$f_Nuadqam1B2drbyDwANT2HzlyC3M5sqkz4E89iwlm9k":3,"$fi4t8uaVslE8PobItKRzYrArML1B1vy39agSjJH9SiTI":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},88119,"Barbara Dee","B",7,null,"barbara-dee",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":87},[14,22,28,34,41,48,70],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":9},2875091,"First rule of self-defense is: Don’t ask your attacker for validation. Never apologize for sticking up for yourself.",6,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":23,"quote_text":24,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":25,"source":26,"quote_tag":27,"commentary":9},2875077,"First rule of self-defense is: Don’t ask your attacker for validation.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":29,"quote_text":30,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":31,"source":32,"quote_tag":33,"commentary":9},2875068,"All I could think about was Gemma kissing Liam, Liam kissing Gemma – and wondering why that image made my insides knot up.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":35,"quote_text":36,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":37,"source":38,"quote_tag":39,"commentary":40},2875058,"Okay, Mattie. I said okay.” All of a sudden, she threw her arms around me and squeezed. “We won’t talk about it if you don’t want to.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],"**The Backstory**\nThis poignant exchange between Barbara Dee and Mattie likely took place during a particularly challenging time in their lives, perhaps when they were facing difficulties or emotional turmoil together. As we delve into the quote, it's essential to consider the era of 1960s-70s America, marked by social unrest, feminist movements, and personal growth, which may have influenced Dee's thoughts on vulnerability and openness.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nOn the surface, this exchange appears as a comforting gesture between two friends. However, upon closer inspection, it reveals a more profound insight: that sometimes, we must choose when to engage with difficult conversations or painful emotions, not out of avoidance but out of self-care and respect for others' boundaries.\n\n**How to Use This**\nWhen faced with challenging topics in personal or professional relationships, adopt the mindset of \"holding space\" for both yourself and the other person. This means acknowledging that some discussions require a willingness to pause, reflect, and choose when (or if) to proceed, prioritizing emotional safety without necessarily avoiding the issue altogether.",{"id":42,"quote_text":43,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":44,"source":45,"quote_tag":46,"commentary":47},2875050,"How do you know if you like someone because you really do like that person, or if you like him only because you think you’re supposed to?",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],"**The Backstory**\n\nBarbara Dee, an American author known for her young adult novels, likely wrote this quote in one of her books aimed at teenagers navigating complex relationships and social pressures. The era of her life relevant to the sentiment is the 2000s-2010s when adolescents were increasingly influenced by social media and peer expectations. This context suggests that Dee was addressing the challenges of modern adolescent identity formation.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\n\nThe quote reveals a counter-intuitive truth: the distinction between genuine attraction and external validation can be murky, making it difficult to discern one's true feelings. This tension arises from the fact that people often respond to social norms and expectations, which can lead to confusion about whether their affection is sincere or merely a product of societal pressure.\n\n**How to Use This**\n\nTo apply this mindset today, consider the following strategy: when evaluating your feelings towards someone, try to separate your genuine reactions from those influenced by external factors. Ask yourself if you would still feel the same way about this person in a hypothetical scenario where they were not surrounded by social norms or expectations.",{"id":49,"quote_text":50,"author_id":5,"source_id":51,"has_image":18,"author":52,"source":53,"quote_tag":54,"commentary":9},652120,"I just meant this stuff with me is different. And I definitely wouldn't call it regular bullying.\"\"So what would you call it, then?\"I opened my mouth to answer.But I didn't have any words.Because all the words I could think of—bullying, teasing, flirting—seemed too simple, too small, to hold all the hurt I was feeling.",2,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[55,60,65],{"id":56,"tag":57},3327490,{"id":58,"tag_name":59},6312,"sexism",{"id":61,"tag":62},3327489,{"id":63,"tag_name":64},16521,"rape-culture",{"id":66,"tag":67},3327491,{"id":68,"tag_name":69},47318,"sexual-harassment",{"id":71,"quote_text":72,"author_id":5,"source_id":51,"has_image":18,"author":73,"source":74,"quote_tag":75,"commentary":9},652115,"First rule of self-defense is: Don't ask your attacker for validation.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[76,79,84],{"id":77,"tag":78},3327482,{"id":58,"tag_name":59},{"id":80,"tag":81},3327481,{"id":82,"tag_name":83},15418,"self-defense",{"id":85,"tag":86},3327483,{"id":68,"tag_name":69},{"currentPage":88,"totalPages":88,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":89},1,10]