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Vulnerability felt like a banner that announced, 'Come and get me!' But when I think of it the other way, I don’t pounce on other people just because I can. I don’t go around looking for people smaller or weaker than me so I can attack them. When I find someone’s vulnerability, my impulse is to protect and cover them, not to use it against them.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[52,57,62],{"id":53,"tag":54},3044524,{"id":55,"tag_name":56},3153,"healing-insights",{"id":58,"tag":59},3044526,{"id":60,"tag_name":61},3791,"vulnerability",{"id":63,"tag":64},3044523,{"id":65,"tag_name":66},16470,"abuse-of-power",{"id":68,"quote_text":69,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":70,"source":71,"quote_tag":72,"commentary":9},528087,"I used substitutes for my real needs. I needed rest or relationship or recreation, but I gave myself food or sex or shopping. Since I wasn’t supplying what I really needed, I was never satisfied. I needed to know that I deserved to have my needs met and then I had to start asking myself what I really needed and provide those things.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[73,78,83,88],{"id":74,"tag":75},2902052,{"id":76,"tag_name":77},25,"love",{"id":79,"tag":80},2902050,{"id":81,"tag_name":82},2560,"dependency",{"id":84,"tag":85},2902053,{"id":86,"tag_name":87},2873,"needs",{"id":89,"tag":90},2902054,{"id":91,"tag_name":92},20621,"sex-addiction",{"id":94,"quote_text":95,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":96,"source":97,"quote_tag":98,"commentary":9},489402,"The inability to get something out of your head is a signal that shouts, “Don’t forget to deal with this!” As long as you experience fear or pain with a memory or flashback, there is a lie attached that needs to be confronted. In each healing step, there is a truth to be gathered and a lie to discard.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[99,104,109,114,119,124,129,134,139,144,149,154,159,164,169],{"id":100,"tag":101},2751136,{"id":102,"tag_name":103},191,"fear",{"id":105,"tag":106},2751132,{"id":107,"tag_name":108},229,"healing",{"id":110,"tag":111},2751129,{"id":112,"tag_name":113},601,"mind",{"id":115,"tag":116},2751138,{"id":117,"tag_name":118},713,"truth",{"id":120,"tag":121},2751127,{"id":122,"tag_name":123},1149,"pain",{"id":125,"tag":126},2751131,{"id":127,"tag_name":128},1948,"lie",{"id":130,"tag":131},2751130,{"id":132,"tag_name":133},2462,"lies",{"id":135,"tag":136},2751125,{"id":137,"tag_name":138},2675,"ptsd",{"id":140,"tag":141},2751122,{"id":142,"tag_name":143},2677,"trauma",{"id":145,"tag":146},2751133,{"id":147,"tag_name":148},3091,"head",{"id":150,"tag":151},2751124,{"id":152,"tag_name":153},4274,"sign",{"id":155,"tag":156},2751121,{"id":157,"tag_name":158},7024,"brain",{"id":160,"tag":161},2751128,{"id":162,"tag_name":163},9068,"negative-thoughts",{"id":165,"tag":166},2751135,{"id":167,"tag_name":168},32947,"flashback",{"id":170,"tag":171},2751126,{"id":172,"tag_name":173},67505,"post-traumatic-stress-disorder",{"id":175,"quote_text":176,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":177,"source":178,"quote_tag":179,"commentary":9},447941,"The introduction to horrors so young impressed on me just how helpless and vulnerable I was. Parents are supposed to empower their children to live without them but in my family, I wasn’t given permission to be my own person. I thought I needed them to live and then they abandoned me. It’s no wonder I felt so unempowered well into my adult years.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[180,185,190,195,198,203,208],{"id":181,"tag":182},2566701,{"id":183,"tag_name":184},31,"power",{"id":186,"tag":187},2566699,{"id":188,"tag_name":189},1448,"horror",{"id":191,"tag":192},2566700,{"id":193,"tag_name":194},5140,"independence",{"id":196,"tag":197},2566696,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":199,"tag":200},2566695,{"id":201,"tag_name":202},13492,"abandonment",{"id":204,"tag":205},2566698,{"id":206,"tag_name":207},17918,"dependent",{"id":209,"tag":210},2566697,{"id":211,"tag_name":212},30410,"child-sexual-abuse",{"id":214,"quote_text":215,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":216,"source":217,"quote_tag":218,"commentary":9},347526,"A person raised in a healthy family is equipped to live a confident and independent life; someone from an unhealthy family is filled with fear and self-doubt. He has difficulty with the prospect of life without someone else. The devaluing messages of control and manipulation create dependency so those who most need to leave their family of origin are the least equipped to do so.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[219,222,227,232,235,240,245,250,253,258],{"id":220,"tag":221},2065212,{"id":102,"tag_name":103},{"id":223,"tag":224},2065214,{"id":225,"tag_name":226},736,"manipulation",{"id":228,"tag":229},2065215,{"id":230,"tag_name":231},1260,"self-doubt",{"id":233,"tag":234},2065210,{"id":81,"tag_name":82},{"id":236,"tag":237},2065211,{"id":238,"tag_name":239},3624,"doubt",{"id":241,"tag":242},2065205,{"id":243,"tag_name":244},5665,"abuse",{"id":246,"tag":247},2065216,{"id":248,"tag_name":249},5751,"unhealthy",{"id":251,"tag":252},2065208,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":254,"tag":255},2065213,{"id":256,"tag_name":257},30548,"healing-from-abuse",{"id":259,"tag":260},2065207,{"id":44,"tag_name":45},{"id":262,"quote_text":263,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":264,"source":265,"quote_tag":266,"commentary":9},345553,"To my abusers, the act of setting appropriate boundaries was viewed as hostile aggression. They believed that I was denying them something that belonged to them if I resisted. I was a resource to be exploited for their personal use. I was property who didn’t have any rights over my time, my energy, my body, or my possessions. I viewed myself that way too. I believed that they were justified in being angry with me for saying no but I wasn’t justified in being angry with them for abusing me.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[267,270,275,280,285,290],{"id":268,"tag":269},2056228,{"id":225,"tag_name":226},{"id":271,"tag":272},2056227,{"id":273,"tag_name":274},5531,"exploitation",{"id":276,"tag":277},2056226,{"id":278,"tag_name":279},5739,"boundaries",{"id":281,"tag":282},2056229,{"id":283,"tag_name":284},9605,"sexual-abuse",{"id":286,"tag":287},2056225,{"id":288,"tag_name":289},11239,"belief-system",{"id":291,"tag":292},2056223,{"id":293,"tag_name":294},17276,"abuse-survivors",{"id":296,"quote_text":297,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":298,"source":299,"quote_tag":300,"commentary":9},345493,"The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I’m not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I’m not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that’s not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I’m a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[301,306,311,316,321,324,327,332,335,340,345,348,353,358,363,368,371],{"id":302,"tag":303},2055942,{"id":304,"tag_name":305},3829,"fear-of-death",{"id":307,"tag":308},2055936,{"id":309,"tag_name":310},5211,"self-sufficiency",{"id":312,"tag":313},2055938,{"id":314,"tag_name":315},5384,"moving-on",{"id":317,"tag":318},2055935,{"id":319,"tag_name":320},7595,"survivors",{"id":322,"tag":323},2055957,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":325,"tag":326},2055934,{"id":201,"tag_name":202},{"id":328,"tag":329},2055940,{"id":330,"tag_name":331},13684,"incest",{"id":333,"tag":334},2055947,{"id":34,"tag_name":35},{"id":336,"tag":337},2055951,{"id":338,"tag_name":339},18426,"childhood-sexual-abuse",{"id":341,"tag":342},2055952,{"id":343,"tag_name":344},20472,"childhood-abuse",{"id":346,"tag":347},2055954,{"id":211,"tag_name":212},{"id":349,"tag":350},2055953,{"id":351,"tag_name":352},30417,"child-sexual-abuse-survivor",{"id":354,"tag":355},2055946,{"id":356,"tag_name":357},30870,"dysfunctional-family",{"id":359,"tag":360},2055956,{"id":361,"tag_name":362},35324,"child-abuse-survivor",{"id":364,"tag":365},2055949,{"id":366,"tag_name":367},55243,"controlling-parents",{"id":369,"tag":370},2055959,{"id":44,"tag_name":45},{"id":372,"tag":373},2055955,{"id":374,"tag_name":375},71332,"child-abuse-survivors",{"id":377,"quote_text":378,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":379,"source":380,"quote_tag":381,"commentary":420},260352,"If you are trading silence or compliance for love, you are being cheated. When acceptance or love is withheld if you reveal secrets, the value of the relationship is just an illusion. Love cannot be earned, bought or traded–only freely given. You are worthy of love that doesn’t require you to protect your abuser or sacrifice yourself.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[382,385,390,395,400,405,410,415],{"id":383,"tag":384},1607757,{"id":76,"tag_name":77},{"id":386,"tag":387},1607760,{"id":388,"tag_name":389},329,"sacrifice",{"id":391,"tag":392},1607759,{"id":393,"tag_name":394},1199,"respect",{"id":396,"tag":397},1607758,{"id":398,"tag_name":399},1715,"relationship",{"id":401,"tag":402},1607764,{"id":403,"tag_name":404},2646,"silence",{"id":406,"tag":407},1607761,{"id":408,"tag_name":409},5027,"secrets",{"id":411,"tag":412},1607763,{"id":413,"tag_name":414},6703,"self-sacrifice",{"id":416,"tag":417},1607756,{"id":418,"tag_name":419},9694,"compliance","**The Backstory**\nChristina Enevoldsen, a Danish-American author and artist, is likely the source of this quote given its alignment with her writings on trauma, love, and relationships. This sentiment echoes through her memoirs and online content where she shares about her own experiences as a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nThis quote reveals a counter-intuitive truth: that seeking love or acceptance by revealing secrets or sacrificing oneself is not only a form of transactional behavior but also an indicator of an unhealthy relationship. The author subtly critiques the societal pressure to prioritize relationship dynamics over personal integrity, suggesting that these expectations can perpetuate toxic patterns.\n\n**How to Use This**\nTo apply this mindset today, recognize when you're being asked to compromise your values or safety for the sake of a relationship. Prioritize self-love and acceptance by setting clear boundaries with others, even if it means re-evaluating those relationships.",{"id":422,"quote_text":423,"author_id":5,"source_id":21,"has_image":22,"author":424,"source":425,"quote_tag":426,"commentary":9},246404,"The childhood sexual abuse taught me that my value came from sex. In adulthood, I was driven to have sex since I always felt worthless. I felt important and desired until it was over and then I felt like garbage—the same way I did after the abuse. I desperately needed to feel valued again, which led to more sex. 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