[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fw3WQxJxGOAO0j6WRM-ybISvdJdHJGUWXu1zsA1Pmn3U":3,"$fBNYhFkcLPI89Rxdlh7bO56TK2-AtH8s_JGlDuLPlIQY":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},14936,"J M Northup","J",9,null,"j-m-northup",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":184},[14,32,53,74,95,112,128,139,160],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":9},693523,"Regardless of the outcome, I needed to know that I lived my life the way I felt was right and just. I needed to let the past be the past and take people as they were in this moment; the only moment to exist.",2,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[22,27],{"id":23,"tag":24},3446124,{"id":25,"tag_name":26},222,"inspirational",{"id":28,"tag":29},3446123,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},10698,"faithful",{"id":33,"quote_text":34,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":35,"source":36,"quote_tag":37,"commentary":9},679818,"I felt ancient and exhausted. I felt like a prisoner within myself and as if I was just watching a movie that was playing before my eyes. I just wanted all of it to end and disappear; I wanted to disappear.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[38,43,48],{"id":39,"tag":40},3408392,{"id":41,"tag_name":42},8957,"hopeless",{"id":44,"tag":45},3408393,{"id":46,"tag_name":47},21715,"prisoner",{"id":49,"tag":50},3408391,{"id":51,"tag_name":52},30352,"disconnected",{"id":54,"quote_text":55,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":56,"source":57,"quote_tag":58,"commentary":9},650515,"I believe that all things are connected; that we’re interdependent on one another. I just like feeling the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, and the earth under my feet. It all nourishes me; my soul anyway.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[59,64,69],{"id":60,"tag":61},3322922,{"id":62,"tag_name":63},6281,"connect",{"id":65,"tag":66},3322923,{"id":67,"tag_name":68},17918,"dependent",{"id":70,"tag":71},3322924,{"id":72,"tag_name":73},18138,"nourish",{"id":75,"quote_text":76,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":77,"source":78,"quote_tag":79,"commentary":9},615609,"As I lay in the late hours of night or perhaps the wee hours of morning, I felt content. I’d been right to keep faith and trust when I had no reason to. I didn’t expect any grand gestures or magical solutions to things, but my hope was fueled.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[80,85,90],{"id":81,"tag":82},3215057,{"id":83,"tag_name":84},21,"hope",{"id":86,"tag":87},3215056,{"id":88,"tag_name":89},85,"faith",{"id":91,"tag":92},3215055,{"id":93,"tag_name":94},4613,"content",{"id":96,"quote_text":97,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":98,"source":99,"quote_tag":100,"commentary":9},509565,"I wanted more than anything to connect to someone. I wanted to feel alive again. I just felt dead inside. I could understand how some people just gave up. This darkness was overwhelming.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[101,104,109],{"id":102,"tag":103},2829954,{"id":83,"tag_name":84},{"id":105,"tag":106},2829951,{"id":107,"tag_name":108},2078,"darkness",{"id":110,"tag":111},2829950,{"id":62,"tag_name":63},{"id":113,"quote_text":114,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":115,"source":116,"quote_tag":117,"commentary":9},381614,"What did that say about me? Had I become one of the monsters I thought I was fighting?“Things didn’t have to be like this,” I commented. “He could’ve made different choices.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[118,123],{"id":119,"tag":120},2228164,{"id":121,"tag_name":122},850,"choices",{"id":124,"tag":125},2228166,{"id":126,"tag_name":127},2002,"monsters",{"id":129,"quote_text":130,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":131,"source":132,"quote_tag":133,"commentary":9},359122,"Just because we live in a world of chaos and madness doesn’t mean we have to subscribe to that sort of behavior.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[134],{"id":135,"tag":136},2117395,{"id":137,"tag_name":138},876,"behavior",{"id":140,"quote_text":141,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":142,"source":143,"quote_tag":144,"commentary":9},245451,"Perhaps I really was disillusioned; unable to see myself for who, and what, I really was. 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Truth that I now knew was a lie.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[166,171,174,179],{"id":167,"tag":168},440349,{"id":169,"tag_name":170},50,"perspective",{"id":172,"tag":173},440350,{"id":153,"tag_name":154},{"id":175,"tag":176},440348,{"id":177,"tag_name":178},1948,"lie",{"id":180,"tag":181},440351,{"id":182,"tag_name":183},11829,"version",{"currentPage":185,"totalPages":185,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":186},1,10]