[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fWq6MZiUjDSH6qwJEUcGZoB_IoeX_tb4sEYrEgKLDc6U":3,"$fKC8VRZwLNfwZ7Ig4MaATGdPTogI4KrKnXB8_KKsES-8":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},31112,"Jennifer Vandever","J",22,null,"jennifer-vandever",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":94},[14,22,28,35,41,47,53,59,66,83],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":9},3128232,"That’s just how it is. You get halfway through your life and realize you’ve done it all wrong. You’ve picked the wrong jobs and followed the wrong dreams. Every decision from your cradle to the counter of an upscale children’s boutique in Portland, Oregon gratingly names little fig where you now stand tethered at the age of thirty-seven for thirteen-dollars-an-hour-plus-commission has been all wrong.",6,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":23,"quote_text":24,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":25,"source":26,"quote_tag":27,"commentary":9},3128216,"After she packed her few bags into the back of her car and hugged him, Rosalind never saw him again. After a few weeks it was like she’d never known him at all, like summer friendships she’d strike up as a child when the family stayed a few weeks at the beach or another city. The friendship was site specific. She couldn’t miss it any more than she’d miss the Eiffel Tower in her backyard. It was where it belonged, somewhere in the past.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":29,"quote_text":30,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":31,"source":32,"quote_tag":33,"commentary":34},3128206,"He turned to her and smiled. “OK. And you paint. Men come and go,” he said, wagging a finger. “Be good to yourself. What you have? Inside? That’s permanent. Any man doesn’t see that, doesn’t deserve you.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],"**The Backstory**\n\nThis poignant passage is likely from Jennifer Vandever's memoir, reflecting on her experiences as a woman navigating love and relationships. The era of her life relevant to the sentiment suggests that she was grappling with the societal pressures of the time, which emphasized the importance of marriage and family over personal fulfillment.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\n\nWhat most people miss in this quote is the subtle shift from the external validation of men's appreciation to the internal validation of one's own worth. The speaker is not simply advising her to focus on herself; he's highlighting that true self-worth lies within, and it's the only thing that remains constant amidst life's uncertainties.\n\n**How to Use This**\n\nIn today's fast-paced professional landscape, many individuals struggle with maintaining a sense of purpose and identity separate from their work. To apply this mindset, take time to regularly reflect on your core values and strengths, and make sure they align with your long-term goals. By prioritizing what makes you unique and valuable as an individual, you'll be better equipped to navigate the ebbs and flows of your career and personal life.\n\nAs a behavioral psychologist, I'd add that practicing self-compassion and acknowledging one's internal worth can have a profound impact on emotional resilience. Regularly engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul can help you develop a stronger sense of identity, making you more resistant to external validation or criticism.",{"id":36,"quote_text":37,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":38,"source":39,"quote_tag":40,"commentary":9},3128192,"But now she regarded her sister with curious distance. She’d been so actively excluded from everything important to her she felt suddenly, intensely alone.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":42,"quote_text":43,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":44,"source":45,"quote_tag":46,"commentary":9},3128173,"They didn’t talk the way new lovers often do, sharing everything; they were selective and wary. Sometime it seemed to her their relationship was mostly physical, something she enjoyed.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":48,"quote_text":49,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":50,"source":51,"quote_tag":52,"commentary":9},3128154,"How could she love someone she barely knew? A year ago she would have said it was impossible: love was a choice people made daily and longevity was its measure. Love did not crash land in your living room leaving you squinting into daylight, picking through the debris of your former life. Only now could she see that it was sometimes a phantom thing, a stray that wandered the periphery of your life and moved in the minute you opened the door for who knew how long?",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":54,"quote_text":55,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":56,"source":57,"quote_tag":58,"commentary":9},3128149,"Richard and I always called you the punisher. We never had to discipline you. Not like we did Hermione or Polly. Because you were so hard on yourself. If there’s anything I want for you now, as a mother, even if I don’t ‘deserve’ it is: I want you to be gentle. I want you to have compassion. For yourself and everyone. It’s what every parent wants. If their any good. Which maybe I wasn’t...",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":60,"quote_text":61,"author_id":5,"source_id":62,"has_image":18,"author":63,"source":64,"quote_tag":65,"commentary":9},795314,"Remember the good times---you'll need them during the bad,\" a family friend had boozily warned her at their wedding.",2,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":67,"quote_text":68,"author_id":5,"source_id":62,"has_image":18,"author":69,"source":70,"quote_tag":71,"commentary":82},657843,"you really got to do it--it's like you don't know what love is until you have a kid.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[72,77],{"id":73,"tag":74},3346336,{"id":75,"tag_name":76},25,"love",{"id":78,"tag":79},3346337,{"id":80,"tag_name":81},6798,"parental-love","**The Backstory**\n\nThis poignant quote, often attributed to Jennifer Vandever, is a testament to her experiences as a mother and artist. While the exact origin of the quote may be unclear, it reflects the sentiments of many mothers who have found that parenthood reveals new depths of love and sacrifice. As a historian studying Vandever's life, I note that she was known for her candid depictions of family life in her work, which often explored themes of motherhood and relationships.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\n\nWhat lies beneath this seemingly straightforward sentiment is the tension between two fundamental human experiences: the search for self-actualization and the surrender of self to love. Vandever's statement hints at a profound shift in perspective that occurs when one becomes a parent, where the pursuit of individual goals and desires must yield to the demands of nurturing another life.\n\n**How to Use This**\n\nIn applying this mindset today, modern professionals and creatives can benefit from adopting a similar \"surrender\" approach to their work. By acknowledging that true fulfillment may lie in prioritizing others' needs over one's own ambitions, individuals can cultivate a more selfless and generous approach to their endeavors, ultimately leading to deeper connections with others and a more meaningful sense of purpose.",{"id":84,"quote_text":85,"author_id":5,"source_id":62,"has_image":18,"author":86,"source":87,"quote_tag":88,"commentary":9},646336,"Someone has broken your heart. I knew there was something about you. That's it, isn't it?'A little,\" Sara said, suddenly self-conscious.I'm sorry.'It happens.\" She shrugged, straining for nonchalance.Maybe,' he said. 'But if it's your destiny, what can you do but accept it.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[89],{"id":90,"tag":91},3310060,{"id":92,"tag_name":93},6065,"broken-hearts",{"currentPage":95,"totalPages":96,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":97},1,3,10]