[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fq2_FvV1B7BS9kP7-3vdDCHXI6zBqPVcbMcUQkES6rbA":3,"$f-ytxiUl9_meJgwwENDTalLwEW1wP7juqxyH9mx0j6z8":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},69594,"Jeremy Holmes","J",7,null,"jeremy-holmes",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":128},[14,22,29,51,72,83,94],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":9},3130057,"John Donne’s ‘A Valediction: forbidding mourning’ concerns a sea voyage, and uses the image of a circle as an antidote to the abyss of loss and separation. He pictures the invisible but precious bonds which link carer and cared-for, lover and beloved in an attachment relationship as slender threads of gold.",6,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":23,"quote_text":24,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":26,"source":27,"quote_tag":28,"commentary":9},795619,"Try to prise a limpet away from its rock and it will cling all the harder.",2,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":30,"quote_text":31,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":32,"source":33,"quote_tag":34,"commentary":50},719591,"The unconscious operation of the attachment system via internal working models probably plays an important part in the choice of marital partner and relationship patterns in marriage. Holmes (1993) has described a pattern of 'phobic-counterphobic' marriage in which an ambivalently attached person will be attracted to an avoidant 'counter-phobic' spouse in a system of mutual defence against separation anxiety.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[35,40,45],{"id":36,"tag":37},3513139,{"id":38,"tag_name":39},95,"marriage",{"id":41,"tag":42},3513141,{"id":43,"tag_name":44},605,"psychology",{"id":46,"tag":47},3513138,{"id":48,"tag_name":49},15628,"avoidant","**The Backstory**\n\nJeremy Holmes, a renowned British psychoanalyst and academic, wrote about the attachment system's impact on marital relationships in his 1993 book. At that time, Holmes was actively engaging with Bowlby's Attachment Theory, which posits that early experiences shape our adult attachment patterns. This quote reflects his work during an era when the concept of attachment was gaining recognition within psychoanalytic circles.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\n\nHolmes' description of a \"phobic-counterphobic\" marriage reveals a paradoxical dynamic where two individuals with different attachment styles come together to create a mutually defensive system against separation anxiety. This arrangement suggests that people may choose partners who complement their own insecurities, rather than trying to resolve them through healthier relationships.\n\n**How to Use This**\n\nWhen selecting a partner or entering into a professional collaboration, recognize the unconscious patterns at play and how they might be driven by attachment insecurities. Instead of seeking a \"fixer\" or someone who completes your perceived deficiencies, consider investing in self-reflection and personal growth to establish more secure attachment patterns, thus attracting healthier relationships.",{"id":52,"quote_text":53,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":54,"source":55,"quote_tag":56,"commentary":9},682839,"Your success is mandatory, there's someone who has not been born or conceived yet, that's waiting on your story",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[57,62,67],{"id":58,"tag":59},3416340,{"id":60,"tag_name":61},222,"inspirational",{"id":63,"tag":64},3416341,{"id":65,"tag_name":66},9261,"motivating",{"id":68,"tag":69},3416342,{"id":70,"tag_name":71},24112,"succes",{"id":73,"quote_text":74,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":75,"source":76,"quote_tag":77,"commentary":9},597548,"Attachment is a unifying principle that reaches from the biological depths of our being to its furthest spiritual reaches.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[78],{"id":79,"tag":80},3154887,{"id":81,"tag_name":82},3775,"attachment",{"id":84,"quote_text":85,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":86,"source":87,"quote_tag":88,"commentary":9},468586,"So it is with grief where, if all goes well, can come a strengthening of the inner world, of memory and definition.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[89],{"id":90,"tag":91},2658583,{"id":92,"tag_name":93},1657,"grief",{"id":95,"quote_text":96,"author_id":5,"source_id":25,"has_image":18,"author":97,"source":98,"quote_tag":99,"commentary":9},467204,"John Donne's 'A Valediction: forbidding mourning' concerns a sea voyage, and uses the image of a circle as an antidote to the abyss of loss and separation. He pictures the invisible but precious bonds which link carer and cared-for, lover and beloved in an attachment relationship as slender threads of gold.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[100,105,108,113,118,123],{"id":101,"tag":102},2653116,{"id":103,"tag_name":104},1643,"loss",{"id":106,"tag":107},2653113,{"id":81,"tag_name":82},{"id":109,"tag":110},2653117,{"id":111,"tag_name":112},5799,"separation",{"id":114,"tag":115},2653115,{"id":116,"tag_name":117},7103,"circle",{"id":119,"tag":120},2653114,{"id":121,"tag_name":122},7712,"bonds",{"id":124,"tag":125},2653111,{"id":126,"tag_name":127},8904,"antidote",{"currentPage":129,"totalPages":129,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":130},1,10]