[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fLM-2MI4Zb50wtiBlxWdFduNmsTnEemxRwz-OLkerY3k":3,"$f7qrRIlw_hGrZPh208fGdj2GX1RuSVamRkcnQRu4Eyjs":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"bio_jsonld":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},28523,"Jerold J. Kreisman","J",26,null,"jerold-j-kreisman",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":77},[14,23,29,35,41,47,53,59,65,71],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":22},3130623,"Although the borderline may not be consciously aware of this dilemma, he frequently places a friend or relation in a no-win situation in which the other person is condemned no matter which way he goes.",6,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],"**The Backstory**\nThis quote is from Jerold J. Kreisman's book \"I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder,\" first published in 1990. At the time, Kreisman was a psychiatrist who had been working with individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) for over two decades. His work was groundbreaking in shedding light on the complexities of BPD and its devastating impact on relationships.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nWhat most people miss is that individuals with BPD are not intentionally manipulative, but rather they are trapped in a cycle of emotional dysregulation, which can lead them to create \"no-win\" situations for those around them. This paradox highlights the tension between the person's genuine need for love and connection versus their destructive patterns of behavior, which inevitably push others away.\n\n**How to Use This**\nWhen dealing with someone who is exhibiting manipulative or controlling behaviors, recognize that this may be a symptom of deeper emotional turmoil rather than a personal attack on you. By empathetically acknowledging their struggles while maintaining healthy boundaries, you can create space for them to seek help and work towards healing their emotional wounds.",{"id":24,"quote_text":25,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":26,"source":27,"quote_tag":28,"commentary":9},3130621,"A borderline suffers a kind of “emotional hemophilia”; she lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate her spurts of feeling. Prick the delicate “skin” of a borderline and she will emotionally bleed to death. Sustained periods of contentment are foreign to the borderline.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":30,"quote_text":31,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":32,"source":33,"quote_tag":34,"commentary":9},3130619,"Borderline rage is often terrifying in its unpredictability and intensity. It may be sparked by relatively insignificant events and explode without warning. It may be directed at previously valued people. The threat of violence frequently accompanies this anger. All of these features make borderline rage much different from typical anger. In.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":36,"quote_text":37,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":38,"source":39,"quote_tag":40,"commentary":9},3130617,"A match between the helpless waif and one who feels a strong need to rescue and take care of others satisfies needs for both parties. The borderline finds a “kind stranger” who promises complete and total protection. And the partner fulfills his own desire to feel strong, protective, important, and needed – to be the one to “take her away from all this.” CASE.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":42,"quote_text":43,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":44,"source":45,"quote_tag":46,"commentary":9},3130606,"Because memory cannot be adequately utilized to retain an image, the borderline forgets what the object of his concern looks like, sounds like, feels like. To escape the panicky sensation of abandonment and loneliness, the borderline tries to cling desperately – calling, writing, using any means to maintain contact.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":48,"quote_text":49,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":50,"source":51,"quote_tag":52,"commentary":9},3130603,"For the borderline, much of life is a relentless emotional roller coaster with no apparent destination. For those living with, loving, or treating the borderline, the trip can seem just as wild, hopeless, and frustrating.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":54,"quote_text":55,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":56,"source":57,"quote_tag":58,"commentary":9},3130597,"When the accoutrements of custom disappear, they may be replaced by a sense of abandonment, of being adrift in unchartered waters. Our children lack a sense of history and belonging – of an anchored presence in the world. To establish a sense of control and comforting familiarity in an alienating society, the individual may resort to a wide range of pathological behavior – substance addiction, eating disorders, criminal behaviors, and so on.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":60,"quote_text":61,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":62,"source":63,"quote_tag":64,"commentary":9},3130593,"The price tag of social change has come in the form of stress and stress-related physical disorders, such as heart attacks, strokes, and hypertension. We must now confront the possibility that mental illness has become part of the psychological price.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":66,"quote_text":67,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":68,"source":69,"quote_tag":70,"commentary":9},3130590,"Intended to shield the borderline from a barrage of contradictory feelings and images – and from the anxiety of trying to reconcile those images – the splitting mechanism often and ironically achieves the opposite effect: the frays in the personality fabric become full-fledged rips; the sense of her own identity and the identities of others shift even more dramatically and frequently.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":72,"quote_text":73,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":74,"source":75,"quote_tag":76,"commentary":9},3130588,"The borderline’s split view of himself includes a special, entitled part and an angry, unworthy part that masochistically deserves punishment, although he may not be consciously aware of one side or the other. In fact, a pattern of this type of “invited” victimization is often a solid indication of BPD pathology. Although.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"currentPage":78,"totalPages":79,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":80},1,3,10]