[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fjWRlWUEYXCPuGo3wu0jEfQ-lieh5vQjPQdAWx0pjAx4":3,"$fvQE6_nI--KQr-Z0664V4nG2DPlt3H43M5FxMEvTeWk8":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},15210,"John Tottenham","J",6,null,"john-tottenham",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":102},[14,21,27,44,65,91],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":8,"has_image":17,"author":18,"source":19,"quote_tag":20,"commentary":9},3159403,"I had a feeling once. I wonder what happened to it.",false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":22,"quote_text":23,"author_id":5,"source_id":8,"has_image":17,"author":24,"source":25,"quote_tag":26,"commentary":9},3159389,"Whenever I’m in a relationship I feel as if I’m being unfaithful to myself.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":28,"quote_text":29,"author_id":5,"source_id":30,"has_image":17,"author":31,"source":32,"quote_tag":33,"commentary":9},651626,"Patronage of NegationI am constantly confronted by other people’s worksThat I could have created myself.And I am constantly disappointed by them.Sadly, I have to recognize themFor what they are: inferior versionsOf what I could have doneIf I’d been insecure enough in my abilitiesTo do anything.",2,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[34,39],{"id":35,"tag":36},3326167,{"id":37,"tag_name":38},61,"work",{"id":40,"tag":41},3326166,{"id":42,"tag_name":43},6262,"futility",{"id":45,"quote_text":46,"author_id":5,"source_id":30,"has_image":17,"author":47,"source":48,"quote_tag":49,"commentary":9},635560,"VIEW FROM A HILLI am not yet quite over it.I am lying down on top of it.Surveying behind me a wastelandOf dried-up promise.While the lights below twinkleWith dull mocking uncertainty.There isn't much left to look forward to,And the looking forward of the past has been belied.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[50,55,60],{"id":51,"tag":52},3277908,{"id":53,"tag_name":54},5384,"moving-on",{"id":56,"tag":57},3277909,{"id":58,"tag_name":59},11443,"the-past",{"id":61,"tag":62},3277907,{"id":63,"tag_name":64},32187,"looking-back",{"id":66,"quote_text":67,"author_id":5,"source_id":30,"has_image":17,"author":68,"source":69,"quote_tag":70,"commentary":9},414154,"RIVETING TORPORIt is remarkable how far I am prepared to goIn order to avoid doing the one thing that mightProvide satisfaction, and it is remarkable to considerWhat I will do instead of it, purely for the pleasureOf being dissatisfied. When it is merely a matterOf sitting down for a few hours and dreamingThat something of value might eventually ariseFrom this routine of self-enforced boredom.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[71,76,81,86],{"id":72,"tag":73},2395091,{"id":74,"tag_name":75},1260,"self-doubt",{"id":77,"tag":78},2395090,{"id":79,"tag_name":80},1714,"procrastination",{"id":82,"tag":83},2395088,{"id":84,"tag_name":85},3969,"avoidance",{"id":87,"tag":88},2395089,{"id":89,"tag_name":90},34078,"fear-of-failure",{"id":92,"quote_text":93,"author_id":5,"source_id":30,"has_image":17,"author":94,"source":95,"quote_tag":96,"commentary":9},65013,"IMPROVIDENCEThe other lives I might have ledAll now might as well beDead. Survived by no one.Barren, without issue of any sort:This withered bud, failedIn art and love. With no time leftTo change my course. But time enoughfor infinite remorse.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[97],{"id":98,"tag":99},451276,{"id":100,"tag_name":101},51,"poetry",{"currentPage":103,"totalPages":103,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":104},1,10]