[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$ffDY7kF_8PJM2y4Oq8vJS165gEGjC81BdZiDqrcl0Qhw":3,"$frcvI38_xcjLhc5jr_dNyRm2-ys7N7VaIYwVQSDiC9TY":35},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},41526,"M. Wakefield","M",12,null,"m-wakefield",[12,16,19,22,25,29,32],{"tag_id":13,"tag_name":14,"tag_count":15},8174,"scapegoat",6,{"tag_id":17,"tag_name":18,"tag_count":15},27662,"narcissistic-abuse",{"tag_id":20,"tag_name":21,"tag_count":15},29954,"scapegoating",{"tag_id":23,"tag_name":24,"tag_count":15},30870,"dysfunctional-family",{"tag_id":26,"tag_name":27,"tag_count":28},6414,"emotional-abuse",5,{"tag_id":30,"tag_name":31,"tag_count":28},7105,"narcissism",{"tag_id":33,"tag_name":34,"tag_count":28},133955,"narcissism-expert",{"quotes":36,"pagination":341},[37,56,87,114,142,183,217,253,278,308],{"id":38,"quote_text":39,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":42,"source":43,"quote_tag":44,"commentary":9},661437,"A narcissist's criticism is their autobiography.",2,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[45,48,53],{"id":46,"tag":47},3357199,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},{"id":49,"tag":50},3357202,{"id":51,"tag_name":52},14186,"narcissist",{"id":54,"tag":55},3357200,{"id":33,"tag_name":34},{"id":57,"quote_text":58,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":59,"source":60,"quote_tag":61,"commentary":9},652871,"Love is intermittent reinforcement with spouses and children alike. The child is love-bombed when the narcissist feels the child reflects their false self. The moment the child fails to do so, the narcissistic parent blithely discards them.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[62,65,68,73,78,81,84],{"id":63,"tag":64},3330083,{"id":26,"tag_name":27},{"id":66,"tag":67},3330084,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},{"id":69,"tag":70},3330079,{"id":71,"tag_name":72},7721,"child-abuse",{"id":74,"tag":75},3330081,{"id":76,"tag_name":77},13935,"dysfunction",{"id":79,"tag":80},3330086,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":82,"tag":83},3330082,{"id":23,"tag_name":24},{"id":85,"tag":86},3330085,{"id":33,"tag_name":34},{"id":88,"quote_text":89,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":90,"source":91,"quote_tag":92,"commentary":9},652852,"For the child of a pathological narcissist, love is having your personality rejected and replaced with one the narcissist prefers. Love is neglect, abandonment, tyranny, and subjugation.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[93,96,99,102,105,108,111],{"id":94,"tag":95},3329990,{"id":26,"tag_name":27},{"id":97,"tag":98},3329991,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},{"id":100,"tag":101},3329986,{"id":71,"tag_name":72},{"id":103,"tag":104},3329988,{"id":76,"tag_name":77},{"id":106,"tag":107},3329993,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":109,"tag":110},3329989,{"id":23,"tag_name":24},{"id":112,"tag":113},3329992,{"id":33,"tag_name":34},{"id":115,"quote_text":116,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":117,"source":118,"quote_tag":119,"commentary":141},652843,"Children of narcissists learn that love is abuse. The narcissist teaches them that if someone displeases you, it is okay to harm them and call it love.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[120,123,126,129,132,135,138],{"id":121,"tag":122},3329954,{"id":26,"tag_name":27},{"id":124,"tag":125},3329955,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},{"id":127,"tag":128},3329950,{"id":71,"tag_name":72},{"id":130,"tag":131},3329952,{"id":76,"tag_name":77},{"id":133,"tag":134},3329957,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":136,"tag":137},3329953,{"id":23,"tag_name":24},{"id":139,"tag":140},3329956,{"id":33,"tag_name":34},"**The Backstory**\nThis poignant quote is likely attributed to Maia Wakefield, an expert on narcissistic abuse and its impact on children. Given her work in this area, it's probable that she drew from her research and personal experiences as a survivor of narcissistic abuse. This insight may have been expressed in one of her books or lectures, although the exact origin is unclear.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nThe counter-intuitive truth here is that love, as perceived by children of narcissists, becomes inextricably linked with abuse. The paradox lies in the way these individuals are taught to equate being harmed with receiving love, a twisted logic that can be incredibly difficult for them to untangle.\n\n**How to Use This**\nWhen interacting with someone who may have experienced narcissistic abuse, approach their needs with a deep understanding of this dynamic. Be aware of how your words and actions might unintentionally perpetuate the cycle of abuse by equating displeasure with harm, and instead strive to model healthy expressions of love that are not conditional upon obedience or conformity.",{"id":143,"quote_text":144,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":145,"source":146,"quote_tag":147,"commentary":9},603280,"I was in denial of the glaring reality that my existence depended on my willingness to comply with the family policy of me earning the splinter of space they granted to me.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[148,153,158,161,164,169,172,175,178],{"id":149,"tag":150},3173589,{"id":151,"tag_name":152},4141,"toxic-people",{"id":154,"tag":155},3173591,{"id":156,"tag_name":157},4143,"toxic-relationships",{"id":159,"tag":160},3173585,{"id":26,"tag_name":27},{"id":162,"tag":163},3173587,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":165,"tag":166},3173582,{"id":167,"tag_name":168},13938,"dysfunctional-families",{"id":170,"tag":171},3173586,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":173,"tag":174},3173588,{"id":20,"tag_name":21},{"id":176,"tag":177},3173583,{"id":23,"tag_name":24},{"id":179,"tag":180},3173590,{"id":181,"tag_name":182},47403,"toxic-relationship",{"id":184,"quote_text":185,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":186,"source":187,"quote_tag":188,"commentary":9},579514,"Life was simple and stable. That was my mantra of self-deception. It was how I stayed in denial of the complexity and dysfunction that had engulfed me.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[189,194,199,202,205,208,211,214],{"id":190,"tag":191},3088372,{"id":192,"tag_name":193},3412,"denial",{"id":195,"tag":196},3088379,{"id":197,"tag_name":198},4678,"self-deception",{"id":200,"tag":201},3088377,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":203,"tag":204},3088373,{"id":167,"tag_name":168},{"id":206,"tag":207},3088375,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":209,"tag":210},3088378,{"id":20,"tag_name":21},{"id":212,"tag":213},3088374,{"id":23,"tag_name":24},{"id":215,"tag":216},3088380,{"id":181,"tag_name":182},{"id":218,"quote_text":219,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":220,"source":221,"quote_tag":222,"commentary":9},536851,"Narcissistic abuse is a form of psycho-emotional abuse that takes place when a pathological narcissist targets another individual and exposes them to trauma. It can also manifest as physical, financial, spiritual and sexual abuse.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[223,228,231,236,239,242,245,250],{"id":224,"tag":225},2932315,{"id":226,"tag_name":227},2677,"trauma",{"id":229,"tag":230},2932314,{"id":151,"tag_name":152},{"id":232,"tag":233},2932307,{"id":234,"tag_name":235},5665,"abuse",{"id":237,"tag":238},2932309,{"id":30,"tag_name":31},{"id":240,"tag":241},2932311,{"id":51,"tag_name":52},{"id":243,"tag":244},2932312,{"id":17,"tag_name":18},{"id":246,"tag":247},2932308,{"id":248,"tag_name":249},48042,"abusive-relationship",{"id":251,"tag":252},2932310,{"id":33,"tag_name":34},{"id":254,"quote_text":255,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":256,"source":257,"quote_tag":258,"commentary":9},497300,"Abuse is a control tactic. It's aim is to break you and make you submit.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[259,264,267,270,275],{"id":260,"tag":261},2783854,{"id":262,"tag_name":263},2138,"domestic-violence",{"id":265,"tag":266},2783857,{"id":151,"tag_name":152},{"id":268,"tag":269},2783855,{"id":26,"tag_name":27},{"id":271,"tag":272},2783850,{"id":273,"tag_name":274},18082,"domestic-abuse",{"id":276,"tag":277},2783858,{"id":181,"tag_name":182},{"id":279,"quote_text":280,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":281,"source":282,"quote_tag":283,"commentary":9},248697,"I carried the image of 'The Scapegoat' with me and that ethereal moment when it seemed as if I had entered the bleak scenery stayed etched in the back of my mind for reasons I could not yet comprehend.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[284,289,292,297,302,305],{"id":285,"tag":286},1543833,{"id":287,"tag_name":288},329,"sacrifice",{"id":290,"tag":291},1543837,{"id":156,"tag_name":157},{"id":293,"tag":294},1543830,{"id":295,"tag_name":296},4865,"foreshadowing",{"id":298,"tag":299},1543831,{"id":300,"tag_name":301},6099,"redemption",{"id":303,"tag":304},1543835,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":306,"tag":307},1543836,{"id":20,"tag_name":21},{"id":309,"quote_text":310,"author_id":5,"source_id":40,"has_image":41,"author":311,"source":312,"quote_tag":313,"commentary":9},248627,"Inspired by the Book of Leviticus, the artist saw the goat as an archetype for Jesus Christ, the \"suffering servant of God,\" who carried our sins with his cross as an act of redemptive suffering. Thus, the Lamb of God is the Last Scapegoat.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[314,317,322,325,330,333,338],{"id":315,"tag":316},1543482,{"id":287,"tag_name":288},{"id":318,"tag":319},1543479,{"id":320,"tag_name":321},1085,"christianity",{"id":323,"tag":324},1543481,{"id":300,"tag_name":301},{"id":326,"tag":327},1543478,{"id":328,"tag_name":329},6558,"black-sheep",{"id":331,"tag":332},1543484,{"id":13,"tag_name":14},{"id":334,"tag":335},1543477,{"id":336,"tag_name":337},8998,"atonement",{"id":339,"tag":340},1543485,{"id":20,"tag_name":21},{"currentPage":342,"totalPages":40,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":343},1,10]