[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$f875ylre3tT_nxcLgRATXXEh3HmkEdLf0itLmCdzdodE":3,"$fZ1KYUxtJUSagFxvtLeTohLPJJB1S3pmSkHXqu3lEFk4":27},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},6801,"Maggie Nelson","M",184,null,"maggie-nelson",[12,16,20,24],{"tag_id":13,"tag_name":14,"tag_count":15},25,"love",11,{"tag_id":17,"tag_name":18,"tag_count":19},11746,"pregnancy",6,{"tag_id":21,"tag_name":22,"tag_count":23},1381,"loneliness",5,{"tag_id":25,"tag_name":26,"tag_count":23},5128,"feminism",{"quotes":28,"pagination":90},[29,36,42,48,54,60,66,72,78,84],{"id":30,"quote_text":31,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":33,"source":34,"quote_tag":35,"commentary":9},3244393,"You’re the only one who knows when you’re using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you’re opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is – working with it rather than struggling against it. You’re the only one who knows. And the thing is, even you don’t always know.",false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":37,"quote_text":38,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":39,"source":40,"quote_tag":41,"commentary":9},3244390,"This is generous, for to be close to her pain has always felt like a privilege to me, even though pain could be defined as that which we typically aim to avoid.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":43,"quote_text":44,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":45,"source":46,"quote_tag":47,"commentary":9},3244389,"Like many self-help books, The Deepest Blue is full of horrifyingly simplistic language and some admittedly good advice. Somehow the women in the book learn to say: That’s my depression talking. It’s not “me.” As if we could scrape the color off the iris and still see.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":49,"quote_text":50,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":51,"source":52,"quote_tag":53,"commentary":9},3244387,"We live amid surfaces, and the true art of life is to skate on them well,” wrote Emerson. Is it true? If so, who can bear to believe it?",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":55,"quote_text":56,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":57,"source":58,"quote_tag":59,"commentary":9},3244384,"I was so happy renting in New York City for so long because renting – or at least the way I rented, which involved never lifting a finger to better my surroundings – allows you to let things literally fall apart all around you. Then, when it gets to be too much, you just move on.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":61,"quote_text":62,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":63,"source":64,"quote_tag":65,"commentary":9},3244381,"The problem is, of course, that art typically requires an audience, which loops us right back to the problem of observing actions and losing ourselves in consideration of their imagined form.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":67,"quote_text":68,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":69,"source":70,"quote_tag":71,"commentary":9},3244379,"102. After my friend’s accident I take care of her. It is always taking care, but it is difficult, because at times to take care of her is also to cause her pain.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":73,"quote_text":74,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":75,"source":76,"quote_tag":77,"commentary":9},3244377,"Though lovers be lost love shall not”, etc. But I am not yet sure how to sever the love from the lover without occasioning some degree of carnage.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":79,"quote_text":80,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":81,"source":82,"quote_tag":83,"commentary":9},3244375,"While the two words often arrive sutured together, I think it worthwhile to breathe some space between them, so that one might see “brutal honesty” not as a more forceful version of honesty itself, but as one possible use of honesty. One that doesn’t necessarily lay truth barer by dint of force, but that actually overlays something on top of it – something that can get in its way. That something is cruelty.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"id":85,"quote_text":86,"author_id":5,"source_id":19,"has_image":32,"author":87,"source":88,"quote_tag":89,"commentary":9},3244373,"I have heard that this pain can be converted, as it were, by accepting “the fundamental impermanence of all things.” This acceptance bewilders me: sometimes it seems an act of will; at others, of surrender.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[],{"currentPage":91,"totalPages":92,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":93},1,19,10]