[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$f7lFPJGlJGI_0VWkesTv6exd76jnklmjNB3IznMgjTDI":3,"$foVqMlMSiVBgGdDLetoQpQBiku1bL__op73poTWs0wyY":12},{"author":4,"tags":11},{"author_id":5,"author_name":6,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"bio":9,"short_bio":9,"bio_jsonld":9,"slug":10,"image_url":9},191782,"Tina Tessina","T",8,null,"tina-tessina",[],{"quotes":13,"pagination":106},[14,27,38,49,60,71,82,94],{"id":15,"quote_text":16,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":19,"source":20,"quote_tag":21,"commentary":9},2651183,"He's right. If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that's a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what's the point? Keep your future in mind.",4,false,{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[22],{"id":23,"tag":24},5628838,{"id":25,"tag_name":26},9026,"expense",{"id":28,"quote_text":29,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":30,"source":31,"quote_tag":32,"commentary":9},2651176,"Ask that question for real, not just rhetorically. Why does he want to get married at home? Maybe having friends at the party is more important to him than having family. That's a reasonable want. Perhaps you can scale things down and have a wedding at your family's home and a party in New Jersey.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[33],{"id":34,"tag":35},5628824,{"id":36,"tag_name":37},2770,"ask",{"id":39,"quote_text":40,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":41,"source":42,"quote_tag":43,"commentary":9},2651169,"You're not thinking clearly. By all means, go out with friends, take classes, try new things, begin to build a new life. But don't find another relationship while on the rebound and grieving. It usually creates disaster.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[44],{"id":45,"tag":46},5628818,{"id":47,"tag_name":48},8479,"begin",{"id":50,"quote_text":51,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":52,"source":53,"quote_tag":54,"commentary":9},2651156,"Even if your spouse cheated on you, own up to any lack of connection on your part that may have contributed to his or her making such a bad move. What you want to convey is not that you were the poor victim of a bad mate but that you learned from your experience.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[55],{"id":56,"tag":57},5628810,{"id":58,"tag_name":59},2891,"bad",{"id":61,"quote_text":62,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":63,"source":64,"quote_tag":65,"commentary":9},2651143,"To be sure it's time, share some little bits of information, such as 'my previous relationship ended very badly' and see how your new partner responds. If he or she is sympathetic, share a few more details.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[66],{"id":67,"tag":68},5628794,{"id":69,"tag_name":70},76390,"bits",{"id":72,"quote_text":73,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":74,"source":75,"quote_tag":76,"commentary":9},2651126,"Planning the wedding is a trial run for your future marriage. The things you battle about now are clues to where you're going to have trouble in the future.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[77],{"id":78,"tag":79},5628779,{"id":80,"tag_name":81},4059,"battle",{"id":83,"quote_text":84,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":85,"source":86,"quote_tag":87,"commentary":93},2651103,"Friends are safe. You won't make huge mistakes if you spend time with friends, because they'll be there to steer you to safer harbors.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[88],{"id":89,"tag":90},5628758,{"id":91,"tag_name":92},18660,"huge","**The Backstory**\nThis quote from Tina Tessina, an American psychotherapist and author known for her work on relationships, was likely written during a period of significant change in the field of psychology and relationship counseling. As a historian specializing in Tessina's biography, I note that this sentiment aligns with her emphasis on the importance of community and social support in maintaining healthy relationships.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nAt first glance, this quote seems to suggest that friends are inherently safer than other influences, but upon closer inspection, it reveals a more nuanced understanding. The phrase \"safer harbors\" actually implies that even friendships can be a source of compromise and stagnation if we rely too heavily on them for emotional support.\n\n**How to Use This**\nTo apply this insight in a modern context, professionals and creatives should recognize the importance of balancing their reliance on friends with the need for calculated risk-taking and personal growth. Rather than seeking only \"safe\" relationships, individuals should strive to cultivate friendships that encourage experimentation and exploration while also providing emotional support.",{"id":95,"quote_text":96,"author_id":5,"source_id":17,"has_image":18,"author":97,"source":98,"quote_tag":99,"commentary":105},2651089,"Getting out of marriage won't automatically make anything better. Your happiness is your own responsibility.",{"id":5,"author_name":6,"slug":10,"author_name_first_letter":7,"article_count":8,"image_url":9},{},[100],{"id":101,"tag":102},5628749,{"id":103,"tag_name":104},18,"happiness","**The Backstory**\nThis quote is from Dr. Tina Tessina's book \"The Committment Trap: Uncovering the Hidden Forces That Sabotage Your Relationships\". As a relationship counselor and therapist, Dr. Tessina has worked with numerous couples and individuals navigating the complexities of marriage and partnerships. In this context, she shares her expertise on the pitfalls of blaming external circumstances for personal unhappiness.\n\n**The Hidden Insight**\nWhat lies beneath this seemingly straightforward advice is a nuanced observation on the human tendency to abdicate responsibility in relationships. Dr. Tessina highlights how people often mistakenly believe that ending their marriage will automatically solve their problems, when in fact it merely shifts the focus from internal issues to external ones. This quote reveals the paradoxical nature of seeking happiness through relationship change rather than personal growth.\n\n**How to Use This**\nWhen faced with relationship challenges or dissatisfaction, take a step back and reflect on your own contribution to the problem. Rather than focusing solely on changing your partner or circumstances, use this quote as a prompt for introspection: what internal changes can you make today to increase your happiness and fulfillment in your current relationships?",{"currentPage":107,"totalPages":107,"totalItems":8,"itemsPerPage":108},1,10]