Yes,’ I say. ‘It’s my first actual day of high school ever. I moved from the country. I was home-schooled via distance ed before now.’‘Incredible.’ He shakes my free hand, while lying in that peculiar position. ‘You’ve managed to evade formal education for a signifcant period of your life. Congratulations and well done.’‘Are you taking the piss?’‘Good God, no.

-Ellie Marney

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