People're always buried facing west, so at the end of time when the Last Trumpet blows, all the dead people'll claw their way up and walk due west to the throne of Jesus to be judged. . . . Suicides, mind, get buried facing north. They won't be able to find Jesus 'cause dead people only walk in straight lines. . . . Isn't no god better than one who does that to people?
-David Mitchell
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