She doesn’t like the makeup, either. “I once nearly blinded myself with a mascara brush,” she says, looking querulously at my eyeliner. I don’t want to point out that that says far more about her than it does about me. She might as well be telling me a story of how she once confused Push for Pull on a door, then banning me from using doors again – “Lest you also be betrayed by doors.

-Caitlin Moran

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