You have to understand, Annika, that I have pretty much resigned myself to spinsterhood since, I don’t know, since approximately my entire life. But just because I act chirpy about it doesn’t mean that I’m chirpy about it. You have Menzies. Me? I dread weekends. How depressing is that? I wish I didn’t have vacation time-I have no idea what to do with it. I don’t have anyone to go anywhere with. Look at me-I’m practically forty and I still resemble Pippi Longstocking.

-Tom Rachman

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