You're just not a soldier. You're a...you're a nerd. I mean, even the way you work out is nerdy. You don't have like a killer—""What do you mean the way I work out is nerdy?""How many calories have you burnt in the last five minutes?""Um, I dunno. 17 or 18 probably.""Abe, that's not something normal people know.

-John Green

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