I picked up these books and realised they both said ‘£8.99’ on the back. The interpolation of the entire language I had done with the aid of Cosmopolitan meant I knew this was the price of the books, but I did not have any money. So I waited until no one was looking (a long time) and then I ran very fast out of the shop.I eventually settled into a walk, as running without clothes is not entirely compatible with external testicles, and then I started to read.
-Matt Haig
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