641 Quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.