Seven billion who need to be kept happy, and docile, until the end. How do you do that? What's the best way to calm down a scared kid, get them to go back to sleep? Tell them a story. Some shit about Jesus or whatever.

Your diligence is setting an example for all of us—stop it!

He had spoken with such absolute confidence that I knew he had to be blowing this out of his rectal orifice.

That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking, what's your vice and what brand of trouble does it lead to?