90 Quotes by Rachel Caine about humor

  • Author Rachel Caine
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    I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"And what?" (Michael)When did you get home?" Claire demanded.Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know.""Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind.""I so wish you hadn't said that.

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor.""But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer.""Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?'And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?

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  • Author Rachel Caine
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    The door banged open, and Eve rushed out, flushed and mussed and still buttoning her shirt. 'It's not what you think,' she said. 'It was just—oh, okay, whatever, it was exactly what you think. Now, what?

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