Dowist: (n.) blind believer in the stock market.

Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health.

Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed to inspire me: Yardscrabble, Big Log, Upper, Middle and Lower Pigsty, Chicken Scratch, Cooterville, Felchville, Dust Rag, Dough Bag, Uranus Ridge, Big Bottom, Hooter Holler, Quickskillet, Buck Wallow, Possum Strut ... We always say a picture speaks a thousand words, but isn’t the opposite equally true?

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.

In my experience women can balloon for no reason at all.

hospital: (n.) where the healthy go to get misdiagnosed and the sick go to get mistreated.

census: (n.) being counted so we can be discounted.

fanny-pack: (v.) to put on a few extra pounds during the holiday season.

genetically modified organism (GMO): (n.) member of the public who has regularly consumed the biotech industry’s food products.