244 Quotes by Adam Carolla

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

There are certain things women are better at than men.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.