372 Quotes by Al Franken

That’s how things are supposed to work. If you are privileged enough to have a job as a lawmaker, part of your job is to make laws. And if you don’t like the way a law is working, your job is to help make it work better. But.

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.

Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’

I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone. Which is why I think any loving, committed couple – gay or straight – should be able to get married.

Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.

It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.

But now we seem to have entered an era where getting caught lying openly and shamelessly, lying in a manner that insults the intelligence of both your friends and foes, lying about lying, and lying for the sake of lying have all lost their power to damage a politician. In fact, the “Trump Effect” yields the opposite result: Trump supporters seem to approve of the fact that he lies constantly, including to them.